Answering a question

Matt, a skier who used to live in Utah, wrote in a great letter and asked some interesting questions, to which I responded below. Here's his letter- it's edited for length:

Hi Kristen- I didn't see much about you in the ski mags anymore- and knowing of your absolute strength on ski's- my wondering why led me to your site and thus your blog. What you do sounds absolutely great.

To my questions: I'm curious what is your idea of the creator, however personal or impersonal. And (this sounds confrontational but I assure you I don't mean it to be) since you say you don't prescribe to any religion at all but teach Zen Wisdom, how do you divorce the practice of Zen from the Buddhism. Is it possible that the connotation of the word religion is simply something you'd like people to avoid attaching to your philosophy? Thanks for taking the time to read my humble question. Sincerely matty lundquist.

Awesome letter. Here's my response:

Hi Matty, thanks for writing. I believe in the Big Bang and evolution, which I think is, at this point, undisputed in the science world. That's hard to ignore. So to answer your first question, no, I don't believe in a creator.

That's not to say that God doesn't exist, though. And before people freak out over the word God and stop reading, here me out. (yes, it is that kind of world).

To the Buddhists God is everyone and everything. To the Catholics God is separate from us, and the image of an older bearded man with flowing robes is hard to shake. To the Taoists God is that tree over there. Zen, of course, is housed and birthed in the religion of Buddhism, so it's easy to put it in the category of religion.

The best explanation of Zen I've heard though, is that while religions are studies of what the great masters taught- for example Buddhism is the study of what the Buddha taught. Catholicism is the study of what Jesus Christ taught. Islam is the study of what Mohammad taught. Taoism is the study of what nature teaches.- Zen is actually trying to FEEL what The Buddha Felt. Feel what Jesus felt. Feel what Mohammad felt. Feel what the trees feel.

So in many ways, "my philosophy" is not my philosophy at all- it's not exclusive to me or to Ski to Live or to Buddhism- it's the embracing of everyone's philosophy, including yours. And at the clinic or in private session, we don't study anything, we practice experientially.

Thus is the reason why we can run these clinics & how I can coach the intersection of sports, adventure and Zen, and manage to include all people, and all beliefs. I would never, ever presume to think that my way of being or believing is the only true way. I am but a single human being in a vast, and beautifully complicated world. So we don't teach anyone anything in these events, or steer anyone in any direction based on our own agendas. We facilitate people into their own recognitions and realizations.

Thank you again for writing Matt, and I hope you decide to join us for a clinic or for a private coaching event some day. I think you'll feel right at home.

trying out a new slogan?

"Attend Ski to Live and feel like you've taken a four week vacation." Am trying that on for a slogan?

Hmmm. It's true.

I will educate you real groovy

The Path of Injury
By Kristen Ulmer, for your enjoyment


Do you love to ski perhaps, or sky dive, maybe wrestle goats? Great choices! Problem is, even if you just play Yahtzee, you’re probably gonna break a bone/ligament/gasket at some point. Damn dice.

But not to worry- that compound femur fracture is simply not a problem! Just pop 4 Advil and find a massage therapist (throw in a 5 hour reconstructive surgery too, if you have the time).

This may come as a wee surprise though, but turns out injury (shhh) ain’t that easy. Of course denial comes first, then acceptance (hello- the bone is actually sticking out of your leg), until weeks later as your couch cushion starts to form a black hole in the shape of your flattening butt, when resistance takes over. Us humans always seek identity, and with injury-- even if you mask it behind a joke or smile—getting stuck in “this is terrible” or feeling like a victim usually becomes your new identity. You’re no longer the stockbroker, the yodeler, heck you’re not even Frank or Mary anymore but rather: “the guy who broke his leg.” Life quickly becomes a grasp toward the future: “I’ll be happy once I’m strong, then I’ll be my old self again.”

Your old self though- is that wise? Imagine you’re expecting a hard fastball, which you planned to knock out of the park, but instead are tossed a hanging curve ball. Would you really just stand there, bat on shoulder, complaining “Hey! This isn’t what I wanted!” and wait for the next pitch?

No, you’d take a swing at that ball. Injury is an amazing opportunity, but if you don’t embrace it, you may miss the lessons. You must submit to blackness in order to find a brighter light-- Pain? That’s where great art is always birthed. Being reliant on another person? That’s the exact makeup of romantic love.

And being on crutches, or hooked up to a whirling machine? Wow! Even the 5-year olds know-- the person on crutches is always the most interesting in the room. Everyone wants to know what happened, because privately they’re all going through their own, most recent ‘injury.’

Life is about injury, that’s why the movie American Beauty was so popular. The key is to embrace your own sad movie- the energy there is staggering, especially if you watch it over and over until you feel all the hidden layers. So with this newly broken body, why not crawl on your knees across the floor to pet the dog. Have a stranger carry you down the stairs and appreciate it. Learn how to finally play bridge, and take the time to actually listen to your breathing.

Do this, and when you’re much older-- lying on your hospital bed now, breathing slower every minute—you’ll look out the window at a snowstorm and remember your skiing trips, or how much you loved those goats. Suddenly you’ll recall that broken femur back in ’07. “Wow, I broke my leg!” you’ll think. “The bone was sticking out- it was gross!” That was when you starred in your own sad movie, swung at the curve ball. You’ll hold that injury with reverence, as the time you cried the most, felt the most pain, and couldn’t escape anymore, the reality of being truly, exquisitely human.

Poem sent from Ski to Live guest, Jeff Fink

This is a beautiful poem, isn't it? We all listen to "they", don't we, even those of us who think we don't. We're such social creatures, we like to be liked, we like to be good, but thank god, more than anything we like to be freeeeeee.

Maybe that freedom is why we like skiing and snowboarding so much? Aside from making sure no one saw your big stupid floundering crash (brush all snow off before reaching the chair lift now...or else someone will notice), and carrying your skis tips-first so the locals don't snigger, the rest is all freedom, isn't it? And we're proud when they whisper about our craziness...


"They'll" by Cheryl Denise, from I Saw God Dancing. © Dream Seeker Books, 2005. Reprinted with permission.

They'll

take your soul
and put it in a suit,
fit you in boxes
under labels,
make you look like the Joneses.

They'll tell you go a little blonder,
suggest sky-blue
tinted contact lenses,
conceal that birthmark
under your chin.

They'll urge you to have babies
get fulfilled.
They'll say marriage is easy,
flowers from Thornhills
are all you need
to keep it together.

They'll push you to go ahead,
borrow a few more grand,
build a dream house.
Your boys need Nikes,
your girls cheerleading,
and all you need is your job
9 to 5 in the same place.

They'll order you never to cry
in Southern States,
and never, ever dance
in the rain.

They'll repeat all the things
your preschool teacher said
in that squeaky too tight voice.

And when you slowly
let them go,
crack your suit,
ooze your soul
in the sun,
when you run through
the woods with your dog,
read poems to swaying cornfields,
pray in tall red oaks,
they'll whisper
and pretend you're crazy.

Blog for Ski to Live and more

Behold a blog about my life and the work I'm doing with regard to Ski to Live and wisdom sports facilitation! WHEW* I've been resisting the creation of this blog for awhile now- years. But it's time...

I'm a unique kind of sports educator. For starters, my background: I come from the world of 'extreme' athletics and spent much of my adult life risking my own death for glory and excitement. I don't make any apologies for this wild side or background, it was a hell of a ride, but I'm also so, so glad it's over. Currently I love the Burning Man ethos and swear and dress according to whatever moves me and openly admit to my idiotic embarrassments (massive ego?). I also use sports to facilitate Zen Wisdom full time for a living, what a trip! I'm not religious in any way, although many of my clients are, and I can help them on their chosen path alongside their sports practice.

So- the goal of this blog is to put ideas out there for you to mull over about what sports may have taught you. Basically, I'm making spiritual practice funny and cool and sexy and progressive as hell and shockingly real and even...get this...applicable to real life.

My own life and struggles will slip in here naturally, and maybe you'll find that appealing as well.

Anyway, more to come. Am hoping people will respond to my spew, get pissed off, challenge me, and I promise to challenge you too. If it ain't controversial it ain't worth reading...let's see what kind of irreverence we can muster up in our need to be reverent...